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My Week 
Originally Published on August 30, 2013

My week as a public school teacher, in list form:

#1. Our school had their open house. While watching swarms of parents and students go by, I discovered a pattern. Some students will touch everything in the room that they aren’t allowed to touch during the school day. They seem to think that classroom rules don’t apply when their mom and dad are around.

Which leads them to develop this attitude:

It’s incredibly awkward to discipline children when their parents are around. It’s even more awkward when the kids do what I say immediately, particularly when their parents had been nagging them for half an hour to do the exact same thing.

Which leads me to develop this attitude:

Just kidding. Though, it’s always nice when people (at any age) do what you say. Right?

#2. When parents asked their kids what they “do in class” (after only one week of school), their child gave them a rundown of all the classroom rules, consequences, and procedures. Why? Because it takes a week (or more) to teach those things. Though we have to review them often (see #1).

#3. My students complained of being hot in my class today. While, attempting to comfort them (believing I had no actual control of the temperature in my classroom), I walked over to the thermostat and turned it down. Much to my surprise, the vents kicked on (impossible to miss, sounds like a jet engine), which leads me to believe that I now have control over the temperature in my room. I broke out into a chorus of “Hallelujah”. Music teachers can do that, it’s all in a day’s work.

#4. There’s a pipe above my desk that’s leaking condensation onto the ceiling tiles below it. The leak is consistent enough that the placement of the pipe can be seen by the horizontal line of water stains across the tiles. I cover up my desk and cabinet with plastic sheets every night to avoid accidents…kind of like a toddler’s bed.

#5. I sanitized approximately 140 recorders and their cases this week to send home as “practice recorders” for the kids. This project elicited a varied response from the teachers, including, but not limited to:

“That looks like fun!!”

“Whew! Bleach…”

*cough* *gag* *retch*

“I should have brought my camera, this would make an interesting picture.”

Next year I’m experimenting with the school’s dishwasher for this project. I don’t think the kids will mind a few melted finger holes or a disfigured mouthpiece. I mean really, it could only improve on the sound.

P.S. Just kidding.

P.P.S. Sort of.